Depression and Anxiety

Well, I suppose I could try picking this blog back up again. I fell off right after my first book was released, thanks to my crippling issues with depression and anxiety.
I have been writing, here and there. I have a book half way done, and a short half way done. Which, for two years since my last book release, isn't great. But I know that I can't help it, and I know that it won't be long before I have something, even if its just a few short stories, written and subbed.
I'm trying my hand at a BDSM short that is really fun and helping me explore my creative writing again. With my mental issues clouding my mind, it has been extremely hard to write, to read, to do anything honestly, even just vegging out and watching tv. So to know that I have written a few thousand words in the past few months is a huge improvement compared to the past two years.

There was just so much clutter. In my life, in my head, in my house. After losing myself in the dark void of my mind for so long, I needed a fresh start. My boyfriend and I cleaned, sorted, and arranged our entire house, room by room. We trashed what we didn't need anymore, or gave it away if it was still usable. I'm not gonna say I could have been on hoarders, but it was close! With the house looking clean and organized, and my body moving from the cleaning, I was feeling better.
Writing is much harder now then it ever used to be. Thinking of how to form basic sentences was a task in itself when I first started writing again a few months ago. It was like I had forgotten everything, and was learning to walk again through a foggy maze. The information is all there, but it is hidden in mind, and my mind is nothing but haze these days. That haze is slowly clearing, and I can write creative sentences again, beyond just basic sentence formation. I never realized how crippling and deteriorated my mind had become from my mental illness.
Once I realized this, I have been actively trying to get in to see a doctor. Hoping that an appointment will happen at an income based place soon.
Besides that, I realized that I needed help in my physical state too. My body had shut down in so many ways from years of vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and chemically processed food, and inactivity from either pain or depression, usually both. So we decided to start juicing! Detox first for three days to cleanse our systems, then juice from there on a regular basis. After watching documentaries on Netflix, like Food Matters, we decided there was no time like the present to start trying to be healthy.
With our chickens and goats roaming the yard, and our plans for a hydroponics garden developing, it feels like a fresh beginning, and some type of purpose, to help keep me grounded from anxiety and depression when they cloud my mind.

So I guess that's what I'll be trying to talk about in my blog now. Updating on my mental and physical health, anything going on with my writing, or farm life. So I'll update again soon. For now, its back to writing, so maybe I can show off a blurb soon. ;)

Silk Monsoon: Thread of the Storm series

Well, here it is! After months of edits, emails, and stress, I have finished the edits of Silk Monsoon and am on the final stages! I can't believe it. I've learned so much through the wonderful editorial staff of Dreamspinner Press, and know that they have polished my mashup of manlove into something beautiful!
LC Chase took my vague description of a cover, and made it a reality that I am beyond pleased with <3

Keep an eye out for upcoming blurbs and snippets from my first novella! Now I just have to learn all this promo stuff ;)

Dreamspinner Press

So I have wonderful news! After a long hiatus and weeks of my email not connecting, I opened it yesterday to see that I had received a contract from Dreamspinner Press for Silk Monsoon! Projected release date is around April -May.  I am beyond thrilled to be working with such an amazing company, and can't wait to continue this journey as an erotica author!
As for what I've been doing these past few months, I've started a couple other works that I am excited about working on. But I can start all the books I want, they only count if I finish them ;) so I'm going to focus on a couple and try to spit those out by the end of this year! Wish me luck! As usual I will be posting random snippets from my works, and hoping you all enjoy the way that it is progressing!

New Horizons

So, still waiting to hear from the publisher. The wait is killer! To distract myself, I've been working on a short call about shifters. Somewhat new territory for me, but I'm really LOVING this story!  It's nice to be working, after being stuck on Peer Pressure and Rathbone for so long. I know I would feel alot better if I could see that wonderful email from the publisher!
Anyway, its been suggested that I take up sewing and crotchet. So I've spent a good bit of the day looking for sewing machines and making a list of everything I need. Then Pinterest popped up magically (you know how that goes), and I ended up lost in its depths for awhile. Got some nice ideas for projects to work on! So maybe that will keep me from losing my mind and checking my author email every 10 minutes lol.  Not kidding!
Anyway, I should get back to this short! Here's an excerpt :)

Beads of rain smacked with force onto Lee ShadowPaw's face as he flew down the desolate Arizona highway. The dark clouds sparked with lightning as thunder boomed overhead, announcing the deluge that was about to begin. Rattler's Bar was just up ahead. He would wait the storm out there with his usual whiskey and coke.

Lee coasted his cruiser onto the pavement in front of Rattler's. He cut off his engine, his ears immediately perking at the sound of the sizzling asphalt cooling in the rain. The hiss was loud, and steam danced in front of his headlight. He switched it off and took off his gloves, tucking them into his saddle bag. He never wore a helmet, just a bandanna on his head and sunglasses to block the dust from his eyes. It wasn't the safest way to ride, but Lee was a risk taker.

He flipped the kickstand and stepped off his bike, glancing up at the dark sky. Red hues tinted the storm clouds as the sun set. It was a beautiful sight, but there was always something about a storm that kept him on his guard.

Rattler's door was propped open, so he let himself inside. Men were cranking up the jukebox and laughing as they gathered for their brew after work. A crack from the pool table sounded sharply as he made his way through the building. Lou waved at him from the behind the bar, ushering him to his usual seat.

“You're here early. Trying to beat out the storm?” Lou leaned on the counter, though he kept his eyes scanning the crowd. “Seems like that's everyone's thought tonight.”

Lou clinked a tumbler onto the bar and reached for a bottle of whiskey. He poured two fingers in the glass and topped it off with coke, sliding the concoction to Lee.

“Thanks.”

Lou waved him off and walked over to tend to his other customers. Lee took the chance to look around at the early crew. Some truckers were settling in, as well as a few other usuals that laid claim to certain pool table every night.

He knew the regulars fairly well with Rattler's being his older brother's bar. Lou had bought the abandoned property about twenty years ago, fixed it up and spread the word to everyone he knew. Rattler's took off, despite its secluded location. Truckers, bikers, tourists, and locals made his joint one of the most popular stops on this stretch of highway. Lee was proud of Lou, not only for taking care of them both when their mother died, but for following his dream as an adult.

Lou walked back over to him. “Have you seen dad?”

“No.”

“Well, he's not doing any better. I almost want to let him come back and drown himself here, just so I know where he is; but I don't want to enable his problem.”

“He made his bed, Lou. Don't feel guilty over his choices.”

He nodded his head, and put his clean glasses away in the cabinet. “Its easier said than done.”

A deep rumble, clearer than thunder, echoed loudly through the open door, drawing their attention to see a line of cruisers pulling into the car parking lot. Their headlights shined eerily as they circled around, showing their numbers.

The wind picked up and circulated through the bar, making Lee's nose twitch. He knew that scent very well. He shot a look to his brother, seeing his defensive demeanor kick in.

“What are they doing here?” Lou growled as he tossed the rag onto the back counter. “Its been awhile since J RedFang has shown his face here. Does he know you're in town?”

Lee shrugged, downing his whiskey and coke. “He does now.”

Hope you liked the excerpt! I'll probably be posting another teaser for this story soon, a little more on the wild side ;)

New Route

So, the 8 week waiting period completed, and I emailed the publisher but never heard back. Off to another publisher it is! During this process, a friend suggested a new scene to close out the book, and I think it is perfect! Editing that last bit up tonight so it will be fresh and ready to send off! Though I need to write up a longer synopsis and a query letter. Hopefully that should all get done tonight so I can send Silk Monsoon off again, into the slush-pile of another publishing company. Hopefully this one will respond :(
I'm also debating on starting my book about Elijah Rathbone now to give myself a break from Peer Pressure. I've gotten hung up on the simplest of scenes! Sigh, as long as I'm doing something!
Pushing off my writing has become too much of a habit lately, but I have been working on my social life, which is important! We went kayaking with some friends, and got stranded on the water well past nightfall. NOT GOOD, seeing as that's when the gators and snakes come out. Needless to say I was terrified, because I was in a deflated tube! We ended up pulling up on a sandbar and walking to the nearest road for help. We still had a couple hours to go on the river, and I was NOT gong to make it lol. It was a long, rough adventure, but definitely fun. A couple days after that, we went out to the beach and got beaten up by the waves lol. It was very rough and the waves were huge, but we still had a blast. Maybe I worked off some weight with all that excursion? I can only hope!
Anywho, I hate to say that I don't have an excerpt to share. But hopefully that will change! Fingers crossed that Silk Monsoon gets picked up soon!

Slow Going...

       So it has been 6 weeks and 6 days since I've sent my lovely Silk Monsoon manuscript to the publisher. No word yet. Of course, I can only imagine my reactions are what any newbie author feels. I think back on my plot and I feel like its weak, I wonder if I should have spiced it up somehow, oh crap I said that! how cliche!...and so on.  I've been assured that my fears are silly and that no news is good news at this point. I sure hope so! That 8 week mark is closing in, and I hope to hear from them by then! If not, should I try another publisher and take it as a bad omen? Or nudge them and say HEY look at my book! lol. I guess we will find out in a week!

         Besides that ever-looming thought, I've been editing for an author friend Tedi Sinclair :)  SO excited to see these books that have been on the back burner, get edited and hopefully submitted soon! Any fans of paranormal and shifter erotica MM books should check out these series! Supernatural Royalty and Strays Series! 

          I've also been tweaking bits of my current WIP, Peer Pressure. Its so touchy with the content, seeing as Jax is a Senior in highschool, and Ryan is his substitute teacher. Although Jax is 19, having been held back a year, I don't know if it is too taboo to be picked up by a publisher. This book is my heart right now, and I will see it through to the end! Hopefully, if any changes have to be made, they won't be too severe! And I will always have this original copy for any fans to read in the future. 

Hmm, what other news is there? Plot bunnies have been bouncing in my head for new books, and possibly a series in the works. Shifters, paranormal, historical, all kinds! Which reminds me! I wonder if Silk Monsoon will be considered a series, or a stand alone? My idea is that all of the historical plots I have, happen in the same 'world'. They all exist in their time period, in different areas. Like Jake and Maxwell are in India. Well, Maxwell's friend, Elijah Rathbone, who is mentioned in Silk Monsoon, lives in England and has his own story to be told. Would that be considered enough of a tie for a series? Hmm, we shall see what the publisher says. IF I EVER HEAR FROM THEM! ok calm down, Jamie...lol.

Hopefully my next update will have more exciting news!

Workspace

So we had to get an external hard drive to pull my info off of my fried laptop. But we got me a new desktop! Totally awesome, I love it so much. I am definitely getting more work done than before. I worked on a steamy scene between Jax and Ryan in Peer Pressure, and the style was much different than I usually write. I am loving the intensity of it! Can't wait till my readers will be able to enjoy it as well one day!
I am days behind on house work, attempting to slowly catch up. And I really need to go grocery shopping! And workout...sigh, Must accomplish all the things!
I've also been helping an author friend, Tedi Sinclair, with some brainstorming. So excited to see her books coming along! And I know mine wouldn't be as far along without her! *bows in gratitude*
I suppose i should hop off to work! But oh look, Korean dramas! And anime! No, must resist...lol